Confessions....

Before I get to that.....I was in NY again this past weekend. I haven't been in NY for years, and now two weeks in a row. My niece, Katie (the gal that just spent 10 weeks in Italy), landed a job in the fashion industry on Seventh Avenue and started her job on Monday. On Sunday afternoon, we were moving her into her apartment in Brooklyn! YIKES. She is sharing it with two guys--they were great...they've been friends since they were 7 years old and they grew up in Brooklyn. They work in Manhattan also, do not own cars, and really know the neighborhood. We left at 9:30am and got home around 9pm. It took about the same amount of time that it takes me to drive to Burlington VT to see K, K and M, but the drive to NY is not nearly as easy or as scenic...Route 89 to Vermont is just a great ride, the scenery is spectactular, the road is usually quite empty, and of course, the final destination is always the best! The drive to NY???? Well, not so good, although Connecticut is nice, but gets dicey in places, then you hit NY and the scenery becomes not so nice. NY is a beautiful state, no doubt...we just were not in those beautiful areas. We were headed to Brooklyn and went by Shea Stadium where they were playing their last game of the season...and lost. And the weekend before, we had gone by Yankee Stadium, where they were also in their last weekend of play---both stadiums were being torn down after those weekends....weird.

Started my 3rd round of the clinical trial yesterday...it was uneventful pretty much. And I slept pretty well last night, which I don't usually do on infusion day. My bloodwork was excellent with no decline in my WBC. I saw Kara, the RNP and the clinical trial gal, Carol. I went into more detail about my diet. They ended up being supportive and saying to go for it, but didn't see any reason why I shouldn't have mac' an cheese if I felt like it now and again. They seemed to be more concerned that I'm enjoying what I'm eating (which made me a little nervous)...than what I'm putting into the body. Western medicine.....geesh! However, they were very supportive and we all agreed that it was a good thing, certainly was not going to hurt anything---well, of course not! I realize that I'm not a total vegan---my holistic oncologist told me that I should eat a few eggs a week, so, I am making allowances--a true vegan does not eat eggs. My thought process certainly has to be that this diet is helping me...that is what is keeping me on this track. I have to look at this positively and picture that the good stuff going in is what will keep the bad stuff from multiplying. I picture it as PacMan (dating myself) as the good food, is eating up all the bad cells. Simple, naive..maybe, postitive...always.

Ok, back to the confessions. I haven't been walking regularly, jumping on the trampoline, or doing weights and I also haven't signed up for yoga (guilt). I said I was going to do all these things and I did for a week or so well, not yoga, then....I don't know, life happens. I really should be able to do these things without letting other things in the way. But, alas, I just can't seem to get those endorphins in place when I need them...which is before I start! Well, maybe my plan was just too ambitious to start with (excuse). If I can do something 3 days a week, that would be more doable and practical....the good news is (there always has to be good news) that I have been doing my green smoothie and taking some vitamins. I purchased a heavy duty blender, BlendTec....(it can blend up a cell phone), and I am having a green smoothie every day. It's a bit time consuming, but I make enough for 2 days, each about 30-32 oz. They include kale, bok choy, parsley, cucumber, collard greens and whatever fruit I have on hand--banana, apple, blueberries, strawberries, nectarine...the fruit makes it edible....yes, you actually have to "eat" it, by moving it around in your mouth in order for the siliva to play its important part in digestion. So, takes awhile to get down. I also add a 1/2 cup of ground flaxseeds and 2 tbsps of green veggie powder. I figure I'm getting about 15 servings of veggies and fruits a day from this. That can't be bad. Notice I'm spending more time on the things I AM doing than the things I'm NOT doing!

So, I'm trying to get my head back in the right place again. Maybe I should work with a professional trainer, or even better....a life coach that could work on my head as well!