my arsenal is not only in the form of medicine....

Well, almost another week has gone by--the radiation treatments continue, I have 5 more to go. They are totally sapping my energy...what little I have left. Last night, I couldn't sleep, who knows why....but it was a long night. Peg and I went to MGH for the treatment and by the time I got home, I was just about comatose...just really done in, partially from not sleeping and also from the radiation. The sofa, my new BF, is where I spent the afternoon, snoozing and napping, actually a very pleasant way to spend the time. These days, it is those things that bring comfort and joy---getting real rest, eating something that actually tastes pretty good, feeling halfway decent for a good part of the time, and spending lots of times with family and friends--I've had a houseful and it has been great...better than great.

Keith left on Sunday, after being here for 11 days...I don't know what I'd have done without him...so unobtrusively helpful, wise, caring and loving. We got to have some serious talks, explored issues that must be spoken of, was able to come to some conclusions that needed to be reached, he played his guitar and sang to me, we laughed and we cried. It was the best of times...

It's hard to believe that Christmas is 10 days away. Everyone scurrying around trying to get their "thing" done, and in the midst of that, coming by to see me, calling, emailing, blog commenting, dropping by "goodies"... the timing of this little setback was not exactly timely. Peggy came from AZ and will miss Christmas with her family out there...The job search for Heather continues...just trying to get her signed up for services is challenging. Hopefully, by the end of this week, it will be totally underway. Heather is enjoying her time at home with Sydney (and Ralph of course:), but I think she will be happy with more to do.

All right, I'm off to bed, for either another wrestling match with the bedclothes or some needed sleep, hopefully the latter. I sleep with the oxygen, but my breathing is really quite a bit better. I'm on a steroid now, which also may interfere with good sleep. It's a crapshoot--never seem to know what kind of night it'll be, but the following day is totally dependent on it---that's how it seems anyway. The nodes that they are treating in my neck are definitely smaller today---I thought so yesterday also, but today--definite. So, a glimmer of hope that this thing is shrinking and getting ready for the next systemic chemo treatment, which will start after the first of the year....that's the plan at the moment anyway. Well, there seem to be no absolutely definitive plan at the moment...we're fighting this thing with the arsenal that is currently available and hoping and praying that one will work. For now, it is how it has to be....I have my days when I think in shorter terms than on other days, but for the most part, I'm still in there for the long-term fight...and am looking for more weapons to fight with.